Well I’m not entirely sure of the year but I’d take a guess and say it was 1986. I was thirteen and mad keen to grow up in a real hurry.
I’d just discovered underage clubs and was in the middle of my semi-punk phase. Black jeans, 12UP Doc Martens or rollers, jet black hair all over the place and a Clash or Sex Pistols tee shirt was my weekly ‘clubbing’ uniform.
My mate Bishop had kissed a chick the previous weekend and was strutting all over the place like he was the king of Melbourne. I still hadn’t managed to have a full on pash but had been close several weeks before. However, since there were no tongues involved it supposedly didn’t count.
Anyway, I couldn’t let the Bishop’s ego get any bigger and I’d decided that I’d go in for the kill at the next available opportunity. So the weekend came and we hit ‘The Phantom Club’ in suburban Hawthorn. We’d shared a bottle of the Bishop’s old man’s port on the train so we were ready for a mad afternoon.
I was totally nervous and was kind of freaking out a bit as this was supposed to be my weekend and I’d even declared it at school during the week. There was no way I could chicken out. Anyway, three hours or so had passed and I hadn’t yet done anything apart from continually stalling by ‘surveying the talent’ the entire time I’d been in the place.
And then I saw her. A lone blond girl sitting against the back wall of the downstairs dance floor. She wasn't too shabby so I took a deep breath and slowly made my way over. I sat down right next to her and basically froze. She looked at me and I looked at her. All I could manage was a lame ‘How’s it going…’ She offered me a Marlborough and we sat there smoking and saying nothing to each other. Eventually we had a brief chat and I found out her name was Julie.
Then we ran out of things to say to each other and just stared ahead and watched other kids dancing. My hands were all clammy and I knew this was really lame. I mustered up some courage and held her hand. No objections!!! I knew I was in… So as Joy Division’s ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ was playing, I kind of pulled her closer to me and with my other hand I turned her face towards mine and went in for the kill.
Her breath was all smoky but did I care? No chance… so was mine and I’d done it. I was officially ‘Frenching’ and I immediately knew why the Bishop had felt like a King… It was the most awesome thing I’d ever done to that point in my life.
Anyway, I’ll spare you all the rest of the details but it was a brilliant weekend. After that I got on a bit of a roll and as they say the rest is all history.
So as usual, I told you mine so you tell me yours. There will be a prize for our favourite ‘first kiss’ story and you can be sure that it will be a good one. So give us all the details for your chance to win!!!
I just wanted to post a reminder to everyone regarding the October/November newsletter competition as we’re giving away such a fantastic prize for this.
Here it is….
To win this Philips Streamium SLM 5500 worth over $250.00 all you have to do is send us a Zazz cocktail!!! You have to create the recipe and give it a great name. THAT’S ALL!!! So send your entries to mrniceguy@zazz.com.au with the subject of Cocktail Recipe for your chance to win!
By the way… I’ve had a lot of questions about non-alcoholic beverages so to everyone who asked yes I’ll definitely accept mocktails too.
You have around ten days left to enter and as they say you’ve got to be in it to win it so keep those cocktails coming!!!
I was out doing a bit of shopping the other week when I saw a ripper of a tantrum in the cereal aisle of the supermarket.
Apparently this little boy wasn’t going to get the box of Fruit Loops he was clutching to his chest. And believe me he was letting the whole supermarket know how unfair he thought it was. His face was beet red from screaming and his cheeks were all streaky with tears. His mother gave him a huge dressing down and said that he wasn’t going to be watching any TV for a month unless he put the box back on the shelf straight away.
Next thing the kid let out an almighty NOOOOOOO and stomped his feet on the ground a few times!!!!! As his mother tried to pry the cereal from his iron grip he shrugged her off and bolted down the aisle with the Fruit Loops in hand. She turned and took off after him and even though I felt a bit sorry for her I still had to chuckle as it really did look quite funny to see her chasing him around trolleys and other shoppers.
At least she actually tried to do something about her child’s unruly behaviour though. During my recent visit to the dentist this kid kept running around the waiting room making ‘vroom vroom’ car noises and disturbing all the other patients. His mother sat several feet away from me reading a magazine and did absolutely nothing about it. When I asked her if she could calm him down she just stared at me before muttering a token ‘Tristan, stop running…’ before going back to her New Weekly.
So the kid then sat at the kiddie table and started repeatedly slamming wooden blocks against a toy truck trying to see if he could smash it. I was about to completely lose it when they were ushered into the surgery. Talk about saved by the bell!!!
Anyway, I shouldn’t really complain too much as I was the king of bad behaviour when I was little (or so I’ve been told). As an example I once took a large carving knife from my grandmother’s kitchen and slashed all her furniture. When she found me the room was full of couch stuffing and the story goes that I told her I was ‘fixing the furniture.’ I also ‘fixed’ my cousin’s air conditioning unit one summer by completely filling it with mud.
I asked around the office and I’ve discovered that apparently Adam was also a little bit wild and was known to smash a few windows and stomp a few flower beds in his day!!! Zazz Tech Boy repeatedly stole his sister’s play lunch from her lunch box whilst Phoebe conducted experiments with her mother’s expensive perfumes and make up.
Let us know about anything feral you guys did as kids because we’d love to know. The funniest tale or cheekiest picture of yourself or your kids will win this weeks prize.
I seem to get a lot of requests for stories regarding the antics of our very own Zazz Tech Boy. Most of you will know him either through his technical advice or from a few of our videos as Dr. Von Ritmo. To us though he’s a constant source of amusement.
Just in case you missed them, here’s a link to some of his best work!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hexqM34sH5k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIm06OtCbh4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgmkM2WNc5A
First of all he seems to be some sort of revered figure down in Windsor. You walk down Chapel Street with him and he gets treated like the mythical figure of Don Fanucci from the Godfather. People say hello or give him little nods of recognition and he certainly gets the red carpet treatment when he enters Cookies Chicken or Urban Burger on his lunch break.
Strangely he never seems to get the concept of seasons either. In the middle of winter we all had our personal heaters on and ZTB would waltz into the warehouse in short sleeved tee shirts. He’d scoff at how we would sit at our desks shivering before heading back to his little enclave to play with his collection of Hard Drives and USB sticks. Now it’s summer and of course he’s wearing fleeced sweaters. Go figure!!!
He’s been known to print out pages upon pages of utterly useless spreadsheets, flow charts and pie charts for our weekly meetings. I have no doubt that one day we’ll be getting all of our paper from Papua New Guinea. There simply won’t be any more logging industry left in Australia at the rate these graphs and charts are being produced. But don’t ask him to talk about the charts though… apparently they’re just there for ‘reference’.
Sometimes the phone rings at Zazz and you go to answer it but can’t find a handset. People start frantically running around looking for the things only to find them all sitting on ZTB’s desk. I once found five telephones within arms reach of his ‘executive style’ leather office chair.
It would also be criminal of me to have a blog about ZTB without mentioning the around the clock playing of Def Leppard’s ‘Hysteria’ album.
Anyway, he’s a pretty good bloke is our ZTB. He’ll occasionally sling you a bag of chips or a bottle of Coke when he returns from lunch, he’s completely fixed up my poxy laptop so it isn’t so poxy anymore, he’s sourced really cheap blank DVD’s for me and I also enjoy our debates on the merits of various deli meats and fast food outlets. And to be totally honest I’d be lost without his technical advice on some of our Zazz products. He really does help me out a lot.
So now I throw the challenge over to you guys. We want your suggestions regarding what you’d like to see for the next ZTB video. The best script or outline will receive a great Zazz prize as well as our guarantee of producing a totally awesome ZTB movie for you. Just remember to please keep it clean!!!
Owning a pet is great fun and can add a lot to your life. In fact, once you get a little furry friend, be it a cat or dog or even a bird they really do become a part of your family and life wouldn’t be the same without them. But pets have minds of their own so you have to learn to expect the unexpected!
In our house we have two Chihuahuas and sometimes their behaviour is less than acceptable. They love to play fight but their little sparring matches can often turn feral when there’s food or a bone involved. They also don’t like strangers and the little boy has even bitten the handyman and my cousin. Totally unacceptable behaviour and I don’t know how he thinks he’s protecting the house when he’s not much bigger than a large rodent! He’s currently undertaking doggy anger management…
Then there’s the destruction. Chewing headphones, socks and clawing couches taught me that toys are an invaluable investment to keep them happy and occupied. Mind you a new soft toy might only last a day or two before it gets ripped to shreds and I come home to a living room with toy stuffing all over the place.
One of the worst aspects I have to put up with is their questionable toilet habits. I used to have a beautiful white rug that was left to me by my late grandmother that eventually turned completely yellow. I don’t know what it was but for some reason they thought it was their own personal toilet!!! Their training just wasn’t sinking in and the final straw was when the little boy peed on my Playstation. I couldn’t believe it. So I sought the advice of a professional and after much effort they now go on a piece of newspaper if they can’t wait till their walk. Still not perfect but I can live with that.
But in saying all of that believe me the good definitely outweighs the bad. What I really do enjoy is the fact they’re always there to greet me when I get home from work and are always happy to see me. Their little tails wag furiously and they jump up and paw my legs waiting to be picked up and patted. It never fails to amuse me to see the look of complete anxiety on their faces when I go to the pantry and they think they’re a chance for a little snack. Their friendship is unconditional and there’s nothing they wouldn’t do for you.
I try and teach them tricks, we go on walks and drives together and they often sit with me when I’m working at home or watching television or a movie. My mother even buys them little outfits which by the way they totally hate! So for me the saying that a ‘dog is a man’s best friend really rings true.’
Anyway this week we’re offering a special pet prize for our favourite picture of your little creatures.
Last Friday the bosses were away, the sun was shining and I’d just found a small portable BBQ tucked away at the back of the warehouse. What else were we going to do aside from going down to the butchers for some lamb chops and bratwurst right?
So armed with a pack of coals and two boxes of firestarters we looked to be all set. Me and Adam were busy assembling the BBQ and Zazz Tech Boy and Razz went down to the shops for beer.
We stacked the tray with coals, used pretty much all the firestarters and had what looked like our very own version of ‘Ash Wednesday’. I’m telling you there was this huge fire emanating out of this tiny BBQ!!!
Unfortunately the heat beads didn’t seem to be that hot after the fire eventually died down. Adam was certain that we were screwed but I wasn’t going to die wondering and put a few sausages and chops on the grill. After about twenty minutes it was obvious that nothing was going to cook though.
Zazz Tech Boy took Razz with him and scoured the local park. They came back with bark and twigs and we tried again. Still nothing. Lucky for us our next door neighbour Philomena took pity on us and for the price of a sausage donated her electric grill for the occasion.
So we grabbed an extension cord and fired up the grill. We put on some tunes, opened up a couple of beers and had our BBQ! Overall it ended up being a really good afternoon!!! Check out our pics….
Anyway I had an idea. We’d like you to submit your best BBQ recipes for the chance to win one of the portable BBQ sets we attempted to cook with. Bearing in mind that it wasn’t the BBQ’s fault we failed either!!!!!!!
